I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
