I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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