do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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