I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
