Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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