i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
