guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
