we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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