The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
