On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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