I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
