I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Don't make out with my wife yet
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize