If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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