you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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