I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
