I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
