drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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