Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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