Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
