i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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