This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
