addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
