when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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