Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize