What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
