It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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