Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I need to align my fucking chakras
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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