Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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