I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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