Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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