Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
