I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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