if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
