I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
