He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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