I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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