I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
