Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
