you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize