If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
