This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
