My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Randomize
