I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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