the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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