you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
