she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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