come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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