He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
