That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
