Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize