I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We had sex on a dog bed..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
