I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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