i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
