Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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