I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
