I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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