That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
