yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
